Emergently status quo

tada, another night survived! here's the call of the night:

"Doctor, I have a suicide attempt. An overdose. I need you to come in."
me: "What did he take?"
RN: "He is in c-spine precautions."
me: "Why is he in c-spine precautions?"
RN: "He was found hanging in his cell unresponsive."
me: "What did he OD on?"
RN: "He didn't OD." (aargh!!!)
me: "Is he breathing?"
RN: "Yes, he's fine now. He was found unresponsive but was talking we picked him up. He complains of numbness and tingling on his left side."
me: "So there is suspected cervical damage."
RN: "Well, he had a stroke and he normally can't feel or move his left side."
me: "So he's baseline."
RN: "Well his neck hurts."
"So he was found hanging in the cell, but he can only use one arm?"
"He had shoelaces tied around his neck."
"And he was hanging from the light fixture or something?"
"Well they broke, but he had tried to tie them to the bunk."
"With one hand. And now he has neck pain & baseline numbness. How bad is his beck pain?"
"10/10. he takes methadone for his chronic neck pain."
"He has CHRONIC neck pain?"
"Yes, he also takes neurontin and tylenol for his neck pain."

At this point I ended the call with: "I'm coming in. Get suction ready and maintain his airway."

GARGH!

an example of my nightly calls.