uncertainty

I am still on call. Normally call runs Fri-Sun or Mon-Thurs. Earlier admin decided that registry staff should not work more than 975 hours/year. This results in warnings to all registry staff that we would all be fired when we reached those hours. Understanding that there was no one to replace us. I volunteered to take as much call as possible while others avoided call because it racks up the hours quickly. So I have been billing since Friday 0700. It is Monday 2230. I think I am on until Wednesday afternoon, but the time runs together after so much time at the beck of the nurses.

Tonight we had a fake seizure, a fake chest pain, and a patient who returns from open ab surgery after multiple stab wounds. In prisons in this state there are two types of inmate yards. General Population and SNY, Special Needs Yards. The SNY yards are made up prisoners who would have safety concerns in a GP yard: gang drop-outs, pedophiles, former law enforcement personnel, etc. Recently the SNY prisoners have decided that even they cannot stand pedophiles and have begun a "clean-up" effort. Through stabbings, throat slashings and fake suicide attempts, these SNY hope to eliminate the undesirables. Note that all the SNY inmates are greenlit on GP yards.

Pedophiles ARE the worst inmate-patients. The level of psychological entitlement and lack of empathy needed to rape children leads to incredibly difficult patients who are unable to engage in a reciprocal doctor-patient relationship. Being more intelligent than the average inmate, the pedophiles use their literacy and criminal minds to push the bureaucratic buttons of the state to better their interests, or at least minimally make sure other people's lives are no better than theirs.

Inmate are, on average, undereducated and of low intelligence. This results in all prison announcements and workings to be made at a fourth grade level or below. This makes the rules easy to manipulate by reasonable people. Of course this does not include many union members. People who come to the state gifted, intelligent, motivated and over years of state-operating friction become petty, small-minded workers who spend every free moment, and some moments where they should be working, reading union contract books to find the next lophole to be exploited for vacation time, better work assignments, and punishment to their perceived offenders.

Tonight I joined a local gym to get back in shape. Working with the state is soul-searing. I think the subconscious Thanotos begins to win and the body/mind/spirit begins to die. A person can only survive so much incompetent management, ungrateful patients, and disapproving voters before one becomes a permanently defensive, injured psychic shell of one's former self.

State workers remind me of animal predators locked in small zoos with small budgets. Those dirty cages and empty eyes looking nowhere in particular because there is nothing to see.